The Best (and Worst) Movies I Watched In 2016

Animated & Family Films

The Jungle Book

A perfectly adequate film from the only legitimate animation studio in the game right now, which just so happens to be the largest and oldest of them all. Still, as pleased as I was (and I've been thoroughly enjoying Disney's animated output since Wreck-It Ralph), the overbearing propagation of the cultural messages and undertones overtones is what weighed down the film me, yet elevated it above the rest for everyone else. Granted, there wouldn't much left of the plot without it, and it's still vastly superior to anything produced by the other major studios this year, who all apparently coalesced to aim for the "talking-animal-movie, but bad" angle. In the end, Disney only had themselves to compete with in 2016. All that Oscar-darlings Pixar had to offer was yet another sequel that no one asked for, save for an attention-starved talk show host.

The Jungle Book

I almost forgot that Disney had a third big family film in their arsenal this year, even though it is a live action adaptation of their own animated classic. At least it was musical......sort of. Anyway, this was one of the biggest surprises of the year of, in terms of its unexpected quality, faithfulness to both source material and author, and overall satisfaction with the movie as a whole. Jon Favreau knocked it out of the park, on what was admittedly a needless project that will soon be followed up by yet another Disney movie re-adaptation this year. More movie-goers should give this one a chance, though,
if it's not already considered a hidden gem.

Moana (Top Five)

The cream of the crop this year, and possibly the best animated feature I've seen in years. Rather than going the heartstrings-pulling narrative-pushing route of their earlier submission, this one went straight for the nostalgia gland and ultimately resulted in a perfect tribute to those Renaissance-era flicks. Nothing but hero's journey in a unique and decidedly non-anthropomorphic setting, with a high-caliber soundtrack serving as the cherry tree on top. One of the select few animated films I deemed worthy of my viewing this year, and the only I wanted to watch multiple times, as I had with the all-but-ruined Disney VHS tapes of my youth. I still have those in a box somewhere...

War & Drama

Hacksaw Ridge (Top Five)

WWII epics are back! With a vengeance. Seriously though, this one was top-notch, at least, after the meandering opening third of the story. Once the Battle for Okinawa begins in earnest, shit gets really real, and it serves as some of the most accurate and unnerving war footage yet recreated in film. The religion-friendly tone, which comes to a head in the climax, doesn't drag down the story in the slightest, and in fact makes the protagonist all the more relatable.

Both Andrew Garfield and Mel Gibson have made a hell of a comeback, and
now I'm savoring the meal to come with Chris Nolan's Dunkirk this year.

Science Fiction

Star Trek: Beyond

There weren't too many sci-fi movies this last year that fit reasonably in the category of "let's take the science part seriously this time." And save for Life next year, that trend appears to continue, even after The Martian took everyone back to school. Alas, the genre does serve as the cozy middle ground between the vigilante/secret-agent shoot-em-ups and the we're-milking-this-formula-til-end-of-time format of modern superhero flicks. I'll have something nice to look at, and I won't necessarily have to leave my brain at home before driving to the theater. Especially not since I'll need what little knowledge I have the Star Trek universe prior to viewing, but the reboot franchise has been fairly friendly to newcomers so far, even serving as a springboard for fans such as myself to delve into older films, if not the television series. This one was undoubtedly the best of the three, and dared to go beyond a simple remake of its superior predecessors, but that won't be enough for those who feel assaulted by Paramount's audacity to re-tell an already serviceable story for the sake of continuing to profit from a profitable franchise, and certain creative liberties taken to entice outsiders that likewise leave a bad taste in the mouths of the purists. I had fun at least, something that most fanboys can't fathom, as they refuse to accept that the bulk of Star Trek media was made for that very purpose, and the fact that they've dedicated their adult lives to an unabashed children's series. Speaking of which, isn't there an MLP movie coming out this year?

Star Wars: Rogue One (Top Five)

Copy+Paste everything I said about Star Trek here, except this one gets a gold star for not leaving me feeling underwhelmed by the end of it, and it fact wishing for a second helping. I'll just add that yes, I'm one of those "Looking back, The Force Awakens wasn't that good after all, but THIS one is the one worthy of being compared to the original trilogy!" folks. Hopefully, I can say the same after every single Star Wars film that will come out of the Disney factory like clockwork every year. And yes, this one had no shame in essentially exploiting the OT for its natural resources and processing it into raw nostalgia-fuel, but as other reviewers have expressed, Star Wars only "works" in the box that it built for itself back in the 70's. Straying too far from the all-too-familiar imagery and all-too-common plot points and themes leads to......well, the Prequels. The only criticisms I don't quite understand are those directed towards the casting and characters themselves, which were somehow inferior to those in Episode VII. Attempting to properly gauge the movie's place in the Star Wars pantheon is just as fruitless as it is for Star Trek, until the fan-base as a whole decides whether these are serious films that deserve to be held to a higher standard (almost all of them would fail in that regard), or if none of the conjecture and squabbling matters at all because you're - yet again - arguing over children's fare, and getting frustrated when you were no longer the target demographic in your middle age. Me? I loved it, and it's been a long time since I've had a positive relationship with the Star Wars franchise, ever since the Internet ruined it for me.

Foreign / International

Shin Gojira (Top Five)

I was one of the few who attended a limited-screening for this release, and I did not regret it. Counting the ways I love this film would be merely repeating myself and countless others. So I'll resist the urge, and instead admit that this was likely the only foreign-language film I've seen this year, but at least I didn't bitch about subtitles as most do. Anyway, Hideaki Anno and Toho Studios were a match made in heaven, and they finally brought Godzilla back to his roots instead of presenting yet another nonsensical kaiju-slugfest. Hollywood has so far failed with both versions of the monster, and stubbornly marches on with their King Kong tie-in later this year. Hopefully, Japan will just ignore that instead of showing us how it's done...again.

Horror & Thriller

The Witch (Top Five)

Mainstream audiences despised this movie, according to review sites and the word-of-mouth I've heard myself from such people. Film Festivals and myself adored it, though, so I might be more hipster than I thought I was. Like science fiction, it's always nice when an intelligent, engaging, and well-researched horror flick shows up every now and then, and not from a major studio either. It's definitely going on my shortlist of good horror movies, of which there are few, though some of them are my favorite movies of all time. The last few years haven't been that bad in providing films like that either, and hopefully the trend continues with Alien: Covenant and any other regurgitated B-movie that I might catch this year.

10 Cloverfield Lane

Another "personal project" horror, though not quite as lo-fi as The Witch. It will definitely please those disappointed
by the previous Cloverfield installment, and amp them up for the "God Particle" that is supposedly arriving soon.

The Conjuring 2

Yet another James Wan horror, as part of the loosely-connected Insidious & Conjuring universe, but his are some of the few that I will willingly pay money to see, amongst all the cheap knockoffs. At least I expect to be entertained and intrigued by his works, and not nearly as terrified as the faint of heart. A story based on a undisputedly disproved hoax, but it makes for a great "what if?" scenario.

Don't Breathe

This one will likely be the most memorable of its genre this year, especially among those "millenials" that I am supposedly pigeon-holed into. It gets mildly revolting towards the end, but isn't that horror movies are supposed to do? If so, then it succeeded in disconcerting the desensitized masses with too little of the attention span required for tension-building thrillers such as this.

Superhero

Deadpool

The film I was the least motivated to see, yet one of the few genuine surprises this year. Granted, I was not nearly as impressed as most movie-goers were; my view of it more aligned with online critics who awarded a fair but passing grade, and less with those who put it on their Best of the Year lists. And yes, it was refreshing to see not only a faithful interpretation of the eponymous character (he was the Ninja Spider-man of my childhood, long before he was the chimichanga fiend of today), as well as a boldly explicit cape-movie in a playing field stocked with what equates to the vanilla ice-cream of action films. But it still only has about as much impact as any other introductory film of the MCU - which is little to none - and the pop-culture humor became prehistorically dated almost immediately.
Again, I didn't hate it as I thought I would, but it's still just okay.

X-Men Apocalypse (Top Five Six)

In a climate where battlefield lines have clearly been drawn between the camps of Disney's Marvel films and those of Warner Brothers & DC, it's no great secret that one has been thoroughly blitzkrieging the other, much to this once hopeful DC's fan's despair. But rather than goose-stepping into the bandwagon, and defending against accusations of bias in claiming that there is clear bias for one studio and against the other, despite past fears over the implications of media conglomerates absorbing as much intellectual property as they can and banking off a replicable blueprint, I chose to vote Third Party. The Switzerland option, if you will, and stood behind 20th Century Fox and their X-Men, Wolverine, and now Deadpool series. Though the studio is technically responsible for some of the worst comic-book adaptations of the 2000s, leading to the stagnation of the genre prior to Paramount's Iron Man, Fox has had a pretty decent batting average when it comes to their X-Men franchise, aside from two major missteps. Deadpool has been one of the most beloved of the cape movies so far, Days Of Future Past performed very well the previous year, and anticipation is high for Logan this time around. The consensus for Apocalypse, however, seems to indicate its inferiority to Bryan Singer's other contributions, or that it is among the worst of the series according to some. I couldn't disagree more; not only was it on par with its previous entry, it's one of my favorite superhero films so far (of which there are few), and cemented my love for the X-Men over the tired and used Avengers or Spider-man.

Thank god, the two universes are as of yet separated; I don't look forward to an MCU take on the series. *shudder*

Doctor Strange

Something something Ant-man. Whatever. Bring back Thor and Hulk already.

Underrated

Lazer Team

I really wish I had something to say here, but I'm drawing a blank. I liked it, most people didn't, but to be fair you kinda had to be in the know of Rooster Teeth lore and history to enjoy it anyway. This one was for the fans, and they accepted it for what it was, while the public understandably left it in the bargain bin with the other B-Movie DVDs. Day 5 was even better, I passed on Crunch Time, and Eleven Little Roosters is shaping up to be a real treat. I'm moving on.

Warcraft

Yet another grandiose vision ultimately undone by the fact that the "normies" have no idea what an Azeroth is. That, and you won't please the hardcore fans when you don't even adapt the source material accurately enough. Still, it was a fun yet flippant romp, in a genre that's been all but abandoned since the Hobbit movies...happened. Luckily, China gobbled this one up in favor of Disney's Star Wars, so we might just get a sequel one. I'm mildly excited, anyway, and that's about as much as I can muster for Episode XIII: The Search For More Money.

The Shallows

I had no idea who Blake Lively was before this film, even though I've seen her in at least two movies. Good for her grabbing a starring role, I guess. Few internet critics took this one seriously, save for those using it as part of some political platform for brownie points. I only cared that it's the second best shark-thriller since Jaws, while almost all of the others are complete turds. Could have fared better as a survival story, though, as that's another genre I hold in high regard.

Overrated

Captain America: Civil War

Aside from the obvious airport scene, was there anything truly astounding in this movie? Anything unique or original?
Never been done before in any of "cinematic universe" entries? Anyone? No?

It was even more boring the second viewing - something I almost never do with these movies - and all I ended up with
was dread over yet another Spider-man reboot. But it's okay, because he's an Avenger now. Gimme a break.
The one bone I can throw this one is that it wasn't Age of Ultron, and that's not saying much.

Here's to Guardians of the Galaxy 2, which will undoubtedly be far removed from
the realm of caped crusaders saving New York City or San Francisco yet again.

Kubo & The Two Strings

Other than Zootopia, this probably received the most praise and accolades from the press and audiences alike, and yet I remain unimpressed. I've only ever truly liked one Laika film, and that was the brilliant Paranorman, but I was inexplicably enthusiastic for Kubo, even after Boxtrolls happened. Doubtless, I won't be fooled again, much to the frustration still in love with the studio ever since Coraline. The day they produce something that isn't trying its hardest to be an anime - with all the overused themes and tropes implied - is the day that I'll come back around. Until then, all the masterful and labor-intensive stop motion in the world can't save a weak story, which apparently doesn't matter anymore so long as it has smears and all the other throwaway gimmicks that Cartoon Brew geeks love.

Worst (Most Disappointing)

BvS: Dawn Of Justice

Yeeaaahhh......

TMNT: Out Of The Shadows

I'm still not sure what I expected. I mean, I liked the first one well enough, much more so than the BayFormers at least. That trailer was deftly deceptive: promising beloved characters from the original television series yet delivering the worst possible versions of them. Didn't quite break my heart as much as Dawn of Justice did, however, and it was ultimately harmless, though perhaps not completely inoffensive to both nostalgia and the senses.

Suicide Squad

"You coulda had class. You coulda been a contender.
You coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what you are, let's face it."